Singing Inspector
To day has been dreadful , dreadful! You might think, o it can’t be that bad ,but it was dreadful.
Why you ask , I’ll tell you why. Yesterday the singing inspector came. He looked rather funny if
you ask me. He had really thick blonde hair, like as blonde as the sun, he wore big knickerbockers to
his knees, thick socks, funny shoes and a suit type of thing as a t-shirt. He had a loud horse
voice and shout when he spoke.
Ok now I will tell you why it’s been a dreadful day. So now Mr Raymond ( the singing inspector )
also known as Mr R. Mr R said he is going to test our singing. He first asked two boys to sing, their
names are Benny and Charles. They sang pretty Polly and Mr R did not like that. Then Jesse went
and she sang amazing.Then it was Iris and me. I felt terrified I couldn’t sing,so I didn’t want
to try.
Then suddenly all eyes were on me and Iris, but mostly me I really don’t like it when everyone is
staring at me. I felt scared, pressurized, terrified and nauseous. Then Mr R said “you two are like
the deaf and the dum. Then I went to go sit down you know I really wanted to shout and say you’re
a big Skinny bullies but I was way to scared.
Isabell, this was enjoyable reading! You expressed your character's feelings and emotions well. I'm not sure if it is the view, but your sentences are set out in a rather odd way. See if you can edit your text so that the paragraphs are set out correctly. You also need to edit your punctuation and spelling carefully.
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